I have been told by some concerned loved ones that my writing may be too focused on MS and they were concerned i gave it too much attention.The following is how I explained it to them because it honestly how I feel and I appreciated that they brought it to my attention.

You are the reason I put it all out there. I expose what I think I would have appreciated being told or reading about back when I received my dx. I write these personal topics because I know they are reaching people who are not able to say it for themselves. People who are uncomfortable, scared and just lost. I write for the people who thought they were only ones dealing with this. It’s important for both the people going through this and also those who are unfamiliar with what actually goes on.

The only thing I dont write for is, sympathy. All I have ever wanted to accomplish with this blog is helping others, sharing my views and experiences. All I have ever wanted to do is help others and my writing makes me feel like I am finally in the right direction. Being in the Army, helped and being a volunteer Firefighter also helped, but this is something big.

I remember the first set of tears I shed the moment I was told, “I think you have multiple sclerosis” by a fairly uncertain and socially awkward Chinese Neurologist, who originally told me I was too stressed and prescribed me Xanax. Yeh, that guy.

So if that is what I had to deal with, I know someone had it worse. There is also a chance that “someone” may also be a private soul, that does not want to discuss this or just doesnt have a support structure like some of us lucky people do. Whatever the case, these people are out there and friends to some of us. My writing is for them.

Nobody should been left alone with only the doctors explanations and their own mind. It’s just not enough, people need information and strive to find answers. With a diagnosis, you constantly want answers. The issue I have is, what would the answers get you. I have had many unexplained situations in my life and looking back, I dont think answers would have improved many of them.

Sometimes what you dont get, is answers but it doesnt mean we cant talk about it.

I figured it out, Facebook is a great way to prolong a one night stand….                                                                                                                                                                                                               Back in the day you could sleep with someone and never speak to them again. These days if you have someones email address, you’ve got a portal to everything about them. What people are not picking up on is that internet naughtiness is a great way to toss a relationship out the window.

It turns into a complete addiction for some, while others didn’t even get off before they were told to GET OFF!

Pathetic, yeh kinda.

Dark, well yeh, a bit.

Most people have been privy to it at one time or another. Maybe you didn’t completely “cyber” but you wouldn’t go sharing it with your significant other, right? Well that is the moment you should take a step back and realize that it’s something wrong. you are taking part in. Until someone shared that thought with me, I never practiced it. Now, its just the truth and the alternative is NOT worth it.

Time and time again I have come across these stories about Facebook, Find My Friends or even txting being the reason for their irreconcilable differences and each time I think, are you fucking kidding me? This is where people start to drop to lose me. This is the moment when you hear that the cheater didn’t initiate it and never replied that they were interested. Just because you didn’t say yes doesn’t mean you said no.

I’ll believe these statements when I believe Anthony Wiener’s Twitter was hacked.

In the words of a very smart man “Who fucking cares what your intentions were?! It’s your actions that are the problem!” because its the results people care about not what you meant to do. Children know when they fuck up and they make excuses for it, adults tell you about their intentions.

The truth is that many years ago, prior to meeting my wife, I was engaged and it ended badly.  Even while engaged things were very rocky .  So rocky that I had to question mutual friends as to what was really going on. Things unfolded before my very eyes, and the last piece of the puzzle was, Facebook.  After I discovered her cheating on me with a “friend” I was obviously furious, hurt and most importantly, distrustful. So distrustful that we opened her Facebook account together so she could prove, nothing was going on. As if it were a TV show, the first message in the inbox was her friend bragging about the guys from the other night in not so many words. I didn’t even need to go to message number two. That’s all it took and I was out.

As far as she and many others thought, Facebook was the magical place where nobody can be caught doing anything wrong, access your information or view your personal logs. Facebook is just like being 50 miles off shore, where rules and laws don’t apply.

I haven’t written it in a while but everything I write is fact. I do not make up stories. That being said, thank god I got myself out of that disaster and into the amazing world I am now a part of with my best friend as my wife.

Today is my birthday and I think, who will be at my funeral? I think, we, as humans, ask ourselves at least a few times. Not that it matters in the slightest but its a very intriguing thought of who would show up, who would cry and who would hear the news and not give a shit. Take that idea and bring it to a different light, who will show up at your wedding?

As strange as it sounds, this question has repeated itself for years. I assume the people in question will have excuses for not going as far as the eye can see and they will be half assed and represent how they feel about you.Its a dark thought that as far as I know I will never get answered and it couldn’t impact anything less.

This all began by thinking, who from my wedding will one day be at my funeral. I know its dark but what a huge thought. There are many I am sure of but its the unsure ones that interest me more. I guess if we knew ahead of time it may help with who you consider a friend or at least who you want to hang onto. Clearly we all have filler in our lives but who can honestly identify them?