These days, I am working out harder than I have since boot camp. Its been about a decade since those days so you can imagine how hard this is, now add the DX of Multiple Sclerosis and it just got harder. I know that this is my best shot at staying mobile and it has got to happen as opposed to the days when excuses covered it there is no, plan B.

I see a personal trainer twice a week and she knows how to make me sweat, professionally.  I have heard the same thing from all of the MS trainers “strengthen your core!” and that is precisely what I am doing. If you are wondering, yes, it hurts a lot in the beginning because these have been used for quite some time.

Yoga is also part of this new world I have been thrown face first into. If you ever think for a moment that Yoga is easy my guess is you have never tried it or are just plain doing it wrong. It’s a hell of a workout and really lets you know what kind of shape your body is (not) in.

I tend to laugh when I get hurt and because of that trait my trainer thinks I am generally stoned. I laugh when I lose my balance while Cher (my trainer) is testing strength levels in each leg. Laughing when I fall over, get dizzy, need a nap or whatever the case is how I mentally smile and cope with my issues.

Laughing is the easiest way to handle the generally disorganized array of issues MS brings to the table. It still doesnt explain why its funny but it helps.

Its taken a while to get here but the terminal feeling in my legs is the daily aggressive constricting pain I have.  The picture on the left completely represents how my legs feel (if they were lizards.) It’s in both legs and really doesn’t go away. Sadly the doctors only answer is to mask it/cover it up with drugs.

I would do absolutely anything to go back to a few things. First off, being comfortable in bed. I reamember what life was like prior to this diagnosis and it was just plain easier. One of the ways was geting comfy in bed. These days I am rolling over and over, stretching out and then curling up into the fetal position where I stop for a few minites. Under a blanket to just a sheet meaning hot, cold, hot, cold. I wake up shivering and other times soaking wet in sweat. Nobody can explain why and nothing really helps. The best trick I have learned is, Bamboo Sheets. Truly life changing if you to deal with heat sensitivity.

When I go to see my neurologist each month he asks “How is everything going?” and each month its the same answer because nothing really  changes all that much, The pain continues and presents itself in the exact same manner and location. The doctor is pleased because no new lesions have shown up but as for my quality of life, he is quite concerned by the pain. Narcotics are not a long term answer for me but for now they are out of ideas. All I know is that I need my legs to work and will continue to hurt and fight in the gym if it means I can keep walking.

I had what I think is my 12th infusion yesterday and the bad news is I feel much worse ever since. My legs are a mess, wobbly, unreliable and quite concerning. Other strange part is this is the first time I have slept after the night following my infusion and at length, about 10 hours. For me, a lot!

You name it, I have tried it with almost every pain medication out there. I think the spasticity meds work but I need to remember to take them but yesterday was the first time that i completely forgot to take anything for pain.

It’s a Good feeling.